Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
