p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
