coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
