Yo dont text me then not text me
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
When are your genitals available?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
