I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
