last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
