Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
