The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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