i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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