Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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