New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
