I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
it's great music for shaving your balls
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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