mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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