Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
