scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
