Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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