It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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