i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
