1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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