maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
