I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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