we're blogging at a bar
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
did i just pee glitter
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
