i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Two words: blizzard sex
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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