i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
