so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
if i died would you start the facebook group?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
