Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
