We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
