Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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