He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
