I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
