Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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