what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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