I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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