Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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