I am spending my child support on dildos
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
