I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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