Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I said "one day" and that day is not today
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
