My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
