just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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