At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
