I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
