and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
