Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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