I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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