You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
