My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
