everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
