remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
