She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
