I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
