I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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