You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
